Enemies as a Source of Energy
This Week, That Thought: 9/12
If you spend enough time online in the personal growth arena, you’ll notice consistent themes recycled into different nuggets of wisdom, all pointing back to the same meaning.
“The price of success is hate. The price of authenticity is being disliked. The price of improving yourself is loneliness.” - Leila Hormozi
“People creating wealth will always be attacked by people playing status games.” - Naval
“Enemies clarify everything. They give people a reason to show up and make it easy for them to relate. They turn your business into a magnetic field – attracting the right people, repelling the wrong ones.” - Codie Sanchez
“Ego is the enemy.” - Ryan Holiday
I could go on, but you know where I am going here. We are constantly being bombarded with messages about “being yourself” and how doing so results in being disliked. But let’s go deeper beyond dislike, beyond haters, and into the realm of enemies.
Beyond the Battlefield
So what do we really mean when we say the word enemy?
An enemy could be someone who is actively working against you and stands in opposition to your goals or well being. Maybe it’s someone who, no matter what you do, just doesn’t like you. And not only do they dislike you, but they take it a step further and seek to undermine, harm, or diminish you.
Maybe it’s a family member who constantly gossips and speaks negatively about you when you’re not around with a goal of tarnishing your reputation. A co-worker who wants your title and is competing for the same promotion. A business competitor who wants your book of business and tries to steal your clients. You know who I am talking about. That jerk who not only dislikes you, but actively seeks to take you down.
We all encounter such people, yet we have a choice in how we respond. We can allow our enemies to provoke anger, resentment, and distraction or we can take a more strategic approach: see them as instruments that reveal our character, tests that sharpen our resolve, and catalysts that accelerate growth. Without enemies, the battles of life would be, well…. boring. It is through opposition that identity is forged, values are clarified, and strength is sharpened like a knife.
Your Own Worst Enemy
We could also view enemy in a metaphorical sense. Sometimes the greatest opposition doesn’t come from the outside world, but rather from within.
Nietzsche captured it well: “The worst enemy you can meet will always be yourself.”
Our inner enemy manifests as procrastination, self-doubt, fear, addiction, and ego. These are the “shadows” we conceal from others and often from ourselves. But in truth, they are the raw materials for growth. If you ignore them, they silently dictate your life. If you confront them, they become the very forge of your transformation.
Carl Jung called these hidden aspects of ourselves the shadow. The parts of our personality that we reject, deny, or fail to acknowledge. He argued that true wholeness comes not from suppressing the shadow, but from integrating it into our conscious self. When we face our fears, acknowledge our anger, or examine the ways our ego distorts reality, we are engaging in the process Jung called individuation: the journey toward becoming fully ourselves. Our inner enemies, in this sense, are not merely obstacles. They are messengers. They reveal our blind spots, test our values, and push us toward greater self-knowledge and authenticity.
By understanding and integrating our shadows, procrastination becomes a signal of where we fear action, self-doubt a guide to unmet needs or unresolved beliefs, and fear a teacher that shows us where courage is required. These inner adversaries, once confronted, no longer silently control us. They become instruments of growth, helping us get out of our own way.
Enemies as Teachers
Authenticity breeds enemies. But without enemies, would we truly know what we stand for? Instead of heading down a path of self-destruction, we should embrace our internal/external enemies and see them as our teachers. View their presence as a challenge to cultivate resilience, to navigate storms, and to rise with clarity. Life will never flow with ease. The waves and currents are the very force that shape us. And when we confront them with intention, we do not merely survive the storm, but we transform.
Marcus Aurelius urged us to see every challenge and every difficult person as part of nature’s design, shaping us toward virtue: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
The Bible frames it in another way: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” (Luke 6:27)
Enemies can either bring you down or force you to level up. So instead of treating enemies as destroyers of life, see them as essential ingredients in your recipe for personal growth:
Someone disrespected your boundaries? Good. Now you understand your values more clearly.
Your boss criticized your character because you have a different viewpoint? Fantastic. Now you know the kind of leader you refuse to become.
A friend revealed themselves as disloyal? Wonderful. You now understand what true friendship looks like.
Your own fear held you back? Great. It showed you exactly what you need to face head on.
Love thy enemy because they fuel your path to a deeper, more authentic relationship with your self.
Reflection
Choose a path, and you choose the opposition that comes with it. Those who resist you mark the edges of who you are and who you are becoming. They sharpen your values, clarify your identity, and reveal the places where you must grow stronger.
According to Winston Churchill, "You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life"
It means you’re living authentically, even if the world resists.
But here’s the paradox: the external enemy who gossips, competes, or undermines, and the internal enemy who whispers fear, doubt, and resistance—they serve the same purpose. They are mirrors reflecting what still needs your attention. They are guides pointing toward your next evolution. It’s up to you to grab the handle.
So don’t just endure them. Identify them. Study them. Learn from them. Let them forge you. Because the greatest enemy, once embraced, becomes the sharpest teacher.
Book Recommendations:
The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga builds on the same truth explored in this week’s newsletter: enemies, whether external critics or internal shadows, are not barriers, but catalysts for growth. Rooted in Adlerian psychology, the book challenges us to stop living for approval and instead embrace the discomfort of being disliked as the cost of authenticity. Just as enemies clarify our values and force us to grow stronger, rejection and criticism are proof that we are choosing our own path. The book reminds us that the highest freedom comes when we release the need to please others and accept that opposition is inseparable from living authentically.
In this foundational work, Jung explores how the unconscious reveals itself through symbols, dreams, and hidden desires, and how these forces quietly shape our identity. He shows that the inner conflicts we often avoid are not meaningless disruptions but signals guiding us toward integration and growth. Much like the enemies we face in the outer world, our inner enemies—fear, doubt, and shadow impulses carry wisdom if we are willing to confront them. Jung’s message mirrors this week’s theme: the very things that oppose us, both within and without, are the raw material for transformation. The book is deep, so take your time.
Weekly Reflection:
Sharpen your wisdom this week with three journal prompts:
External Enemy:
Who in your life feels like an enemy right now (someone who actively opposes, criticizes, or undermines you)? Instead of focusing on their actions, ask: What are they revealing about my values, boundaries, or convictions?
Internal Enemy:
What inner enemy (fear, procrastination, ego, self-doubt) shows up most often in my life? How has it held me back recently, and how might it actually be pointing me toward growth?
Enemy as Teacher:
Think of a past enemy (external or internal). Looking back, what did that conflict teach you about who you are, what you stand for, or what you refuse to tolerate? How can you apply that lesson now?